Q: Why did they build the hockey hall of fame in Toronto?
A: So Leaf fans can go in and see what the Stanley Cup looks like.
Always liked this one better...
Mom and dad are getting a divorce and little billy they fight over who gets. It gets so heated the judge pulls billy up and asks, " Billy I have to decide who you live with. Do you want to live with your mom?"
" No she beats me."
" So you want to live with your father then?"
" No he beats me to."
Now frustrated the judge asks, " So just who do you want to live with then?"
Three hockey fans were walking down the street one day; one with a Flyers hat, one with a Maple Leafs hat, and one with a Red Wings hat. While walking, they notice a hand protruding from a bush. Upon further examination, they notice that there is a dead naked woman in the bushes. They call the police and out of respect for the woman, each of them removes his hat to cover her naked body.
The Maple Leafs fan puts his hat on one of the woman's breasts and the Red Wings fan covers her other one with his hat. The Flyers fan puts rests his hat over the woman's "other" area.
The police arrive at the scene and begin to examine the body. One officer, notepad in hand, walks up to the woman, lifts up the Maple Leafs hat from the woman's left breast, puts it back where it was and writes some notes in his pad. Then he lifts the Red Wings hat from the woman's right breast, puts it back, and jots a few notes in his pad.
The officer then lifts the Flyers hat from the woman's "other" area, puts it back, picks it up again, puts it back, and then picks it up and puts it back once more. The Maple Leafs fan, astounded at the officer's apparent perversion, says "Hey what are ya, some sort of pervert? Why did you pick that hat up and look at that woman's privates three times?"
The officer turns to the Maple Leafs fan and says, "Oh I'm sorry. I was just a bit confused. Usually when I look under a Flyers hat, I find an asshole."